How to build confidence as an actor

Confidence is rarely about talent. It is usually a belief you picked up somewhere, often before you were old enough to argue with it, that is still making decisions for you.

So you build confidence by finding those beliefs, replacing them with something true that you actually believe, and then protecting your energy every day with small habits.

Kym here. I have more than 80 film and TV credits, and this is the inner work I teach in our Journey masterclass on clearing subconscious blocks.

Why do actors lose confidence?

What holds most actors back is a subconscious block. My definition: a belief, a reality or a story you created, that is limiting you in some way, and that keeps repeating in your life with or without your knowledge.

Blocks come from parents, teachers, kids at school, the media, other actors, reps, casting directors and your own past experience. The years from zero to seven matter most, because you had no life experience to filter with, so what you were told landed as fact.

My dad used to tell me, with total love, that I had chosen the hardest industry in the world. I carried that as fact for years.

Blocks also make excellent excuses, because they are provable. And a provable excuse hands your power to circumstances.

How do I find what is knocking my confidence?

Write. Set a timer for four minutes and write a stream of consciousness about your career, as fast as you can, without stopping to think.

Hold these questions while you write:

• What is stopping you from getting the career of your dreams?
• What scares you about this industry?
• Why are you not where you want to be?

When the four minutes are up, keep going for another two.

Then pull out three items. Each one is a specific reason you believe you are not succeeding.

Those three are what you work on.

Do affirmations work for actors?

Only the ones you believe. My rule is never lie to yourself... ease into the change.

Say "I have a million dollars" when part of you knows you do not, and you start an argument with yourself. That argument can be stronger than the affirmation, so it does more harm than good.

Pick something true instead. If you have not trained in months, "Every day I'm feeling healthier, fitter and stronger" works where "I'm fit" does not.

Sometimes a reframe needs research. If your block is "I'm too old", go and find real proof of actors who started later, and build your reframe on that.

Looks are a common one. My most successful headshot is the one with no makeup, where I think I look terrible.

It gets me the most auditions, because nobody else is brave enough to shoot one.

What do I do when someone says I'm not good enough?

Do not argue with it. Resisting a comment puts energy on it.

That's their junk, it's not my junk.

Let it flow past you, like water off a duck.

How do I feel confident before an audition or self tape?

Try the 30 second exercise. Picture your goal happening right now: the phone rings and the job is yours.

What does it feel like in your body? Who do you call?

Feeling that feeling is not so different from it actually happening.

I also keep a list of everything that makes me instantly happy, and reach for it whenever my mood slips.

Here is what dropping resistance did for me. After I got married I stopped caring so much about acting.

A month later I booked the biggest job of my career, a series regular lead in a TV pilot, off a self tape I took six or seven days to get around to.

Perception runs through love or fear. A car breaking down in the middle of nowhere is a disaster through fear, and a random adventure through love.

Is imposter syndrome normal for actors?

Completely. It tends to hit on your first ten or so jobs, then comes back at every new level: co-star to guest star, guest star to recurring, recurring to series regular.

Two things help before a first day. Run your scenes at home in front of one person, so your first audience is never on set.

Then visualise the whole day going well, from getting up to driving home.

There is a study I love about three groups of basketball players, where the group that only visualised the perfect three point shot sank the most. And have a calming practice you already know works, rather than hunting for one on the day.

Dry patches knock confidence too. Thirty or forty auditions without a booking happens to working actors.

It is never having booked at all that is the warning sign, and that is a craft and preparation question.

What daily habits build an actor's confidence?

Stack them onto things you already do:

• Gratitude in the shower. I aim for 50 things and get silly about the small ones.
• Movement when you have no time. A couple of minutes of star jumps, or stretching if your body will not allow star jumps.
• Goals where you look every day, like the bathroom mirror.
• Tapping. It is my quick fix, small enough to do in the car.

For tapping, rate the feeling from one to ten and write the number down, because you will forget it. Tap the side of your hand saying "Even though I have this stress in my body, I deeply and completely accept myself", move through the points, then re-rate and run a second round.

Find an EFT tapping video online that you like and do it once a day for 30 days. None of this needs paying for.

Does my environment affect my confidence?

Yes. Wash a pig, put it back in a dirty pen, and it gets dirty again.

We acclimatise to what is around us.

Every unread email and every drawer you never open takes up energetic space. This month, write down three things you will clear out, and three people you would like to spend more time with.

Then reach out.

Start with the free class

The full masterclass, Clear Your Subconscious Blocks and Thrive, walks through every exercise here, plus a few deeper ones. It is free to watch, and it sits in our mindset hub.

If nerves in the room are the bigger problem, read audition nerves next. And when you are ready for the rest of the Journey, start a 7-day free trial.